The Truth About Cats and Dogs
I’ll begin this with an up-front admission. The following post has nothing to do with fishing.
Although I receive it in voluminous quantities, and often get a real kick out of it, I’m not a
guy who tends to pass on a ton of jokes and humor stuff via e-mail. Our “In Boxes” are usually way
too full for that sort of thing, so I try to be selective.
With that in mind, I nonetheless can’t resist sharing this anonymous Internet composition. It was shared with me by my close friend and video production partner Dave Aitken of Katy, Texas-based Aitken Productions.
If you own, or ever have owned, a cat or dog, I suspect you will find it at least a bit amusing.
Here’s hoping it puts a good-old Sunday-afternoon smile on your face.
Best to all,
Boz
Dog’s Daily Diary Entries…
8:00 a.m. Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 a.m. A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 a.m. A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 a.m. Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 p.m. Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 p.m. Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 p.m. Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 p.m. Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 p.m. Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 p.m. Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!
11:00 p.m. Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream. of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.
The audacity!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow … but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released … and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe … for now …
Howdy. I am 
